Asking the Right Questions: How to Stay Informed About Your Child’s School Day

23 August 2025

As parents, we all want to stay in the loop about our child's school life. But let’s be honest—getting more than a one-word answer from them can feel like pulling teeth.

"How was school?"
"Fine."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing."

Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone! But don't worry, there are better ways to get your child to open up. It all comes down to asking the right questions. Let’s dive into some smart strategies to help you stay informed without turning into an interrogator.

Why It’s Important to Keep Up with Your Child’s School Life

School isn’t just about academics—it’s a huge part of your child’s social and emotional development. Staying informed helps you:

✅ Identify potential problems early – Whether it's bullying, stress, or academic struggles, knowing what’s going on helps you step in before things escalate.
✅ Support their achievements – When you're aware of their successes, you can celebrate with them.
✅ Strengthen your bond – Meaningful conversations show your child that you genuinely care, making them more likely to confide in you when it matters most.

The Common Pitfall: Asking Yes/No Questions

Most kids don’t naturally open up when asked generic questions like "Was school good today?". Questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" don’t invite much conversation.

Instead, Try Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions encourage detailed responses and give kids a chance to share their thoughts and feelings. The goal is to ask things that spark curiosity and reflection.

For example, instead of:
❌ "Did you have a good day?"
Try:
✅ "What was the most interesting thing that happened today?"

See the difference? The second question requires more thought and invites a real discussion.

The Best Questions to Ask After School

Timing and tone play a big role too. Bombarding your child the second they step off the bus might not go well. Give them some time to unwind and then ease into a conversation.

Here are some effective questions to ask:

1. Questions About Their Learning

- What was the most exciting thing you learned today?
- Did anything you learned surprise you?
- If you could teach me one thing you learned today, what would it be?

2. Questions About Their Friends and Social Life

- Who made you laugh today?
- Did you see anyone do something kind today?
- Did you sit with anyone different at lunch?

3. Questions About Their Feelings

- How did you feel during school today?
- Was there a moment today when you felt really proud of yourself?
- What was the toughest part of your day?

4. Fun and Thought-Provoking Questions

- If you could switch seats with anyone in class, who would it be and why?
- If your school day were a movie, what would the title be?
- What’s one thing you wish your teacher knew about you?

By mixing in curiosity and a touch of fun, you make school talk something to look forward to rather than a dreaded daily debrief.

Pay Attention to Their Cues

While engaging in these conversations, be mindful of how your child responds. Some kids love talking about their day, while others might need a little more space.

Signs Your Child May Not Want to Talk Right Away

🚨 One-word answers or shrugs
🚨 Lack of eye contact
🚨 Short, disinterested responses

If this happens, don’t push. Instead, try talking during a low-pressure situation, like while driving, eating dinner, or doing an activity together.

How Technology Can Help You Stay Updated

Not all kids are chatty, and that’s okay! Thankfully, schools today offer multiple ways for parents to stay informed.

Check School Apps and Websites

Most schools use digital platforms like:
✅ Google Classroom
✅ ClassDojo
✅ Seesaw
✅ School newsletters

These tools can give you insight into assignments, teacher notes, and school activities—helping you stay involved without overwhelming your child with questions.

Communicate with Teachers

It's okay to check in with teachers occasionally to get a sense of how your child is doing. Just remember—trusting your child to share things with you is equally important.

Encouraging Open Communication

If you want your child to share more willingly, the key is building a habit of open conversation.

1. Lead by Example

Kids model what they see. If you openly share about your own day—both the good and the bad—they’ll feel comfortable doing the same.

2. Create a Safe Space

Make sure your child knows that their thoughts and feelings are valued. Reassure them that they can always talk to you without fear of judgment or punishment.

3. Listen More Than You Talk

Resist the urge to jump in with advice or solutions. Sometimes, kids just need someone to listen. Respond with:
- “That sounds frustrating. How did you handle it?”
- “Wow, that’s interesting! Tell me more.”
- “I’m so proud of you for dealing with that.”

This approach keeps the conversation flowing and makes them feel heard.

Setting a Routine for Daily Chats

Routine is everything when it comes to conversations. Try implementing a daily check-in ritual that works for your family.

Ideas for When to Chat

⭐ Over dinner – Classic and uninterrupted.
⭐ During bedtime – A relaxed time for open sharing.
⭐ While driving – A great way to talk without the intensity of face-to-face interaction.
⭐ During a shared activity – Walking the dog or doing a puzzle together can make talking feel less forced.

Making it a habit ensures that checking in about school doesn’t feel like an interrogation—just a natural part of daily life.

Final Thoughts

Getting your child to open up about their school day doesn’t have to be a struggle. With the right questions, the right timing, and the right approach, you can turn daily check-ins into meaningful conversations.

Remember, the goal isn’t just to gather information—it’s to build trust and keep the lines of communication open. So next time you ask about school, ditch the yes/no questions and try something more engaging. You might be surprised at what your child has to share!