How to Encourage Positive Relationships Between Your Co-Parent and Child

26 July 2025

Parenting is a masterpiece painted by many hands. When you're co-parenting, the picture becomes more textured—sometimes messy, sometimes magical, but always meaningful. Whether you and your co-parent are amicable exes, navigating the stormy seas of separation, or long-time partners striving to keep balance, one thing always remains true: your child's well-being is the North Star. So, how do you light the path that leads to a strong and healthy bond between your co-parent and your child?

Let’s unravel this delicate tapestry together through love, empathy, and a sprinkle of honesty.

The Parent Dance: You’re Both On Stage

Imagine your child standing in the middle of a stage. On either side are you and your co-parent. They watch your moves, feel your energy. If either of you stumble, they notice. If you find a rhythm—one of coordination and respect—they shine.

Co-parenting isn’t about being best friends, it’s about being the best team for your child. Every child deserves to witness harmony between the people who love them the most.

So, what steps can you take to encourage a positive, thriving relationship between your co-parent and your child?

1. Recognize the Power of Your Influence

Let’s be real—kids are like emotional sponges. They hear the sigh in your voice, the sarcasm in your words, the rolled eyes. They feel it all. One of the biggest gifts you can give your child is the freedom to love their other parent without guilt or confusion.

Speak Respectfully, Even When It’s Tough

It might feel like biting into a lemon sometimes, but choosing respectful words about your co-parent, especially in front of your child, lays a foundation of emotional security. They don't need to carry your baggage—they're just trying to pack their own suitcase of identity and love.

Be Supportive of Their Bond

Even if your personal relationship with your co-parent is rocky, always validate your child’s relationship with them. Support birthdays, holidays, school events, hugs, phone calls—the little things that stitch connection.

2. Communicate Without Conflict

Now, I know what you’re thinking—"Easier said than done." But honestly, your communication sets the tone. It’s not about winning an argument; it’s about raising a well-rounded human being.

Use Neutral Language

Try to imagine you're writing an email to a co-worker. Keep it clear, concise, and kind. Avoid sarcasm and blame. Words like “we,” “our child,” and “let’s try” bridge gaps, while “you always” or “you never” dig trenches.

Establish Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re fences with gates. By setting clear expectations—about pick-ups, holidays, even bedtime—you reduce miscommunication and create stability. Consistency = comfort for your kiddo.

3. Let Go of the Past (Your Child Already Has)

This one’s a biggie. If you’re carrying the weight of broken promises, heartbreak, or unresolved arguments, it’s time to set it aside—for your child's sake.

Focus on the Present

Your child doesn’t care about why the relationship ended or who was “right.” They care about now—who cheers at their soccer games and who tucks them in. Stay in the moment with them and allow their relationship with your co-parent to flourish in peace.

Forgiveness Frees Everyone

It’s not about excusing bad behavior; it’s about releasing the hold it has on your heart. Forgiveness creates emotional space—for joy, for peace, for connection. And you model that grace for your child, who learns to embrace love over resentment.

4. Encourage One-on-One Time

Quality time is like sunlight—it helps things grow. So, actively support your child’s experiences with their co-parent, even when you’re not in the picture.

Be Flexible with the Schedule

Rigid custody or visitation rules are sometimes necessary, but flexibility sends a powerful message: “I support your relationship with Mom/Dad.” If a special event pops up, consider saying yes. That one yes can bloom into a hundred sweet memories.

Celebrate Their Memories Together

When your child comes home beaming after a day with their co-parent, celebrate that joy. Say something as simple as, “Sounds like you had fun!” That response strengthens their self-esteem—and your co-parent bond.

5. Be a Bridge, Not a Barrier

Sometimes co-parenting feels like you’re building a bridge with spaghetti noodles and tape. But even shaky bridges can hold weight when built with intention.

Share Important Information

Is your child struggling in school? Feeling anxious? Excelling in sports? Share it. Both parents should be emotionally in-the-know. It shows you trust your co-parent and value their influence.

Involve Your Co-Parent in Decisions

From bedtime routines to medical choices, involving your co-parent sends a clear signal to your child: “We’re united in raising you.” And even when you don’t agree, respectful discussion teaches them cooperation and compromise.

6. Encourage Emotional Expression

Kids aren’t robots—they have big feelings, and often, they don’t know how to organize them. Help them understand that they can love both parents fully and freely.

Create Safe Spaces for Talking

Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you like doing with Dad?” or “What’s your favorite thing about staying with Mom?” Let your child speak their truth without fear of upsetting you.

Avoid Asking for Intel

Don’t turn your child into a messenger or a mini detective. Questions like “Did Dad say anything about me?” or “Was his new girlfriend there?” only add pressure. Keep their loyalty directed toward their own heart, not either parent’s.

7. Model Love and Respect

Children learn by watching. So the way you treat your co-parent teaches your child how to handle relationships—even years from now.

Your Presence Is Your Power

Even if you're no longer in love with your co-parent, your mutual respect is the greatest love story your child can witness. It tells them, “Even when things don’t work out, people can still be kind.”

Apologize When You Slip Up

We all have off days. If you say something negative or lose your patience, own it. A simple, “I said something out of frustration, and I’m sorry,” can work wonders. It teaches responsibility and shows that everyone is a work-in-progress.

8. Embrace the Bigger Picture

Maybe the co-parenting journey feels long, messy, and unfair. But every effort you make now plants a seed your child will benefit from later.

You’re Building Emotional Insurance

The love and security you cultivate now creates resilience. It gives your child the emotional tools to deal with friendships, romantic relationships, and even future partnerships with empathy and grace.

Every Step Counts

You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to keep showing up—with patience, with purpose, and with a heart that says, “I choose your happiness, over and over again.”

Final Thoughts: It's About Them, Always

Co-parenting isn't for the faint of heart. It's a daily choice to rise above ego, past pain, and personal preferences—all for the little soul who calls you “Mom” or “Dad.” Every time you encourage your child to build a bridge toward their other parent, you're giving them the tools to love deeply, trust openly, and navigate life with strength.

And that? That’s the kind of legacy that lasts far longer than any custody calendar or court order.

So let’s make it count—together.