Able to Bend, Not Break

July 16, 2026 - 10:12

A growing body of research is challenging the way parents and educators think about success. While many assume that top-performing students are the most stable, studies show that high-achieving kids are actually an at-risk group when it comes to mental health. The pressure to maintain perfect grades, win competitions, and meet sky-high expectations often leaves them brittle rather than strong.

The key to changing this, according to recent findings, is not teaching better strategies for success. Instead, resilience comes from two unexpected places: relationships and a tolerance for failure. Kids who have at least one trusted adult they can talk to without judgment are far more likely to recover from setbacks. Equally important is learning that failure is not a catastrophe but a normal part of growth.

Parents and schools often focus on removing obstacles for gifted children, but that can backfire. When kids never experience a low grade, a lost game, or a rejection, they never build the emotional muscles to handle disappointment. The goal, researchers say, is not to shield children from struggle but to help them learn that they can bend without breaking. A child who knows they are loved regardless of their report card is a child who can take risks, fail, and try again. That, ultimately, is what builds lasting resilience.